The Search for Self & Life motivation

1 Point Contributor

I have been thinking about a simple question: Who am I? We spend a lot of our life creating an identity. We identify with our body, our mind, our work, our relationships, our achievements, our failures, and our desires. Much of our motivation also comes from this identity. We want to become successful, respected, wealthy, loved, or important. But what happens when some of these things disappear? Perhaps the career is no longer exciting. Perhaps the children have grown up and gone to college. Perhaps we have achieved what we wanted and still don’t know what is next. Or perhaps we simply don’t have much desire left. This can feel like a midlife crisis, or even like there is nothing left to live for. But what if the problem is not that we have run out of things to do? What if we have been searching for our identity in the wrong places?

Awareness → Attention → Ego → Desire → Happiness → Surrender → No-Mind

1. What is “I”?

“I” is an illusion. We have a body. We have a mind. We mistakenly think that the body is I or the mind is I. We also create an identity from what we pay attention to. We become what we pay attention to. For example, when I am focusing on my breath, I become the breath. When I am thinking, I become the thinking. But I think none of this is the true I. The body changes, thoughts change, careers change, relationships change, and even our desires change. If all these things can change, then perhaps they cannot be the deepest identity of who we are.

2. Who are we?

Who are we? I think I can simply say that “I am” alive. That aliveness sensation is awareness. Before saying I am a father, I am a professional, I am successful, I am unsuccessful, I am rich, or I am poor, there is simply “I am.” These identities come later. This is important because many of us spend our whole life trying to protect or improve these identities. Then one day a job ends, children leave home, money is no longer exciting, a relationship changes, or the body becomes older, and we wonder, “Who am I now?” Perhaps we are asking this question because we have mistaken our roles for our identity.

3. What is attention?

We become what we pay attention to. That attention is like a torch beam. Wherever we point the torch, that becomes the center of our experience, and slowly we may start identifying with it. If all my attention is on my career, I become my career. If it is on money, I become money. If it is on my problems, I become my problems. If it is on my thoughts, I become my thoughts. But we are not the beam. We are the source of that torch, that attention beam. Attention moves from one object to another, but the awareness behind it remains.

4. Why do we feel lost in midlife?

Perhaps a midlife crisis is sometimes an identity crisis. For many years, life gives us ready-made identities: student, professional, husband or wife, parent, provider, achiever. We keep moving because there is always something to become. Then the children grow up and go to college. The career may become repetitive. We may have enough money. We may have achieved many of the things we once wanted. Suddenly there is no obvious next identity to create. We ask, “What is next?” Perhaps the answer does not have to be another identity. Perhaps this is an opportunity to question the whole search for identity.

5. What if I have no desire?

What if I don’t have another big desire? What if I don’t want another promotion, another house, another relationship, another achievement, or another adventure? I don’t think that automatically means life has no meaning. Maybe it means the mind is tired of constantly becoming something. We have been taught that motivation comes from wanting something. But perhaps there is another way to live. We can continue doing what is necessary without needing a huge desire behind everything. We can take care of the body, spend time with people we love, do our work, help others, learn something, write, walk, sit quietly, or simply experience a day. Life does not have to be justified by a new achievement.

6. Do we have a purpose?

Do we have a purpose? I think the purpose is just to be. We spend much of our life trying to become someone — successful, respected, wealthy, knowledgeable, or important. But if these are identities created by the mind, what happens when we stop trying to become something? Perhaps nothing needs to happen. We can simply be alive. If we want happiness, we should know we are the awareness. Why inquire into awareness? Because without inquiring into it, we’re always seeking happiness in objects and identities. We think the next achievement, relationship, possession, or experience will finally make us complete. But perhaps lasting happiness comes from realizing that we don’t need to become someone else to be whole.

7. Is there personal doership?

Before understanding personal doership, let’s understand what ego is. Ego is a false identity, the false I, the illusion. When we do a task, ego takes the credit that I did it. We then build an identity around what we have done: I am successful, I am intelligent, I am important, or I am a failure. In reality, the task is done by the body-mind-intellect combination. So, there is no personal doership, as a person sitting in the body. Do we have free will? Yes, we have free will from the body-mind-intellect perspective. Intellect changes, so decision-making changes. So, we have free will. But still, that change is also happening automatically, as per our learnings and experiences. Seeing this may reduce the pressure to constantly prove who we are.

8. How should I live my life?

Desires are traps. Basic living needs are required. Anything beyond basic needs can become a desire trap when we start believing that fulfilling the desire will complete our identity. We want to be richer, more successful, more respected, more attractive, or more important because we think these things will improve who we are. But perhaps we don’t need to reject life or stop doing things. We can work, earn money, raise children, maintain our health, write, make friends, and enjoy experiences. The difference is that these things don’t have to answer the question of who I am. Living a simple, natural, unforced life may mean doing what needs to be done without constantly asking life to give us a new identity.

9. What about pleasures and pain?

Pleasures and pain are traps. Pleasures are like searching for happiness outside. Pain is like being sad when a desire is not fulfilled. One pleasure leads to another. One desire leads to another desire, in a constant search for happiness. We create an identity around these desires: I want this, I need this, I must become this. When that identity is challenged, we suffer. For any suffering, desire is the root. So, giving up desires is a way towards happiness. It does not necessarily mean giving up everything we enjoy. It may simply mean giving up the belief that the next pleasure, achievement, or relationship will finally tell us who we are.

10. Why worship God?

I think worshipping God is going back to the search for happiness. It is also a way of surrendering the false identity of “I am the doer.” Instead of thinking, “I am doing everything and I must control everything,” surrender means letting go of some of that control. Perhaps worship is not only asking God for what we want, but also slowly letting go of the identity that says, “I know what should happen.” When we surrender, we may discover that we don’t have to constantly create the next version of ourselves.

11. Why is there an urge to do something?

I think it is needed for survival to do something. I also think it is due to social structure. We are taught to become something. Become successful. Become rich. Become respected. Become somebody. The mind keeps waiting for the next thing, and the identity we have created keeps asking us to improve it. Perhaps this is why someone can reach middle age, have a good job, money, a home, children, and many achievements, and still ask, “What is next?” The mind is waiting for another identity to chase.

12. What happens when there is nothing left to become?

Maybe this is the most important question. Imagine someone whose children have gone to college, whose career has reached a comfortable point, and who no longer feels excited by another promotion or another possession. They may think, “I have done everything. What is left?” Or imagine someone who has not achieved those things and has simply lost the desire to pursue them. In both cases, perhaps the answer is not to manufacture another desire. Perhaps it is to discover that life does not end when becoming ends. We can move from becoming to being. We can still act, work, love, serve, learn, and experience life, but we don’t have to use all of these things to construct an identity.

13. What is no-mind?

Maybe this is where no-mind comes in. Mind means thoughts, waiting, wanting, and becoming. No-mind means there is no need to become something. There is simply being. The body and mind can still function. We can still work, take care of family, write, speak, and do our duties. But underneath all of this, there can be a quiet understanding: I don’t have to become something to be. I already am. Perhaps the joy we are searching for is experienced when the constant movement of the mind becomes quiet and we are simply present.

Awareness → Attention → Ego → Desire → Happiness → Surrender → No-Mind

Maybe the search for identity ends when we realize that the Self is not an identity we have to create. The job may change. The children may leave home. The body may age. The desires may come and go. The roles we play in life may change completely. But the simple sense of “I am” remains. Maybe this is what we can discover in the middle of life: we don’t need to find another reason to become someone. We can learn to simply be someone who is alive. And perhaps the search ends where it begins — with simply “I am.”

14. What do I do when I don’t know what to live for?

Maybe the answer is simple: learn to live. If I don’t have a big desire, I don’t need to immediately create one. I can take care of my body, do my basic duties, spend time with people, earn what I need, help where I can, learn something, walk, sit quietly, pray, meditate, write, or simply enjoy an ordinary day. I can continue living without constantly asking, “What is next?” Perhaps motivation does not always have to come from a big goal. Sometimes life itself can be enough. I can do what needs to be done and allow the rest to unfold naturally.

15. What if I feel there is nothing left?

Maybe there is nothing left to become. And perhaps that is not a problem. We spend our lives becoming someone: a student, a professional, a spouse, a parent, a successful person. Then some of those identities disappear. The children grow up. The career slows down. The excitement of money or achievement fades. We may feel empty because we are looking for another identity to replace the old one. But perhaps this emptiness is an invitation to stop becoming and start being. I don’t need a new identity to continue living. I can simply be alive and see what life brings.

16. So, how do I continue living?

Perhaps I continue living by making life simple. I do my duties. I take care of myself and the people around me. I stay connected. I do things that feel natural rather than forcing myself to chase things I don’t really want. I give myself permission to have small desires without making them my identity. And I spend some time becoming quiet, where I am not waiting for the next thing. Maybe this is what it means to learn to live: not constantly asking life to give me something, but learning to experience the life that is already here.

Maybe the goal is not to find another reason to live. Maybe it is to discover that being alive does not require a reason.

I am. That is where life begins.

Letting Go: The Power of Service Over Title

1 Point Contributor

Becoming That Imaginary Person

It’s as if we carry an image of who we should become one day. Every day, we chase that image. We hope that one day we will be a “big” and “successful” person. We spend a lot of time trying to “be someone.” Someone successful. Someone respected. Someone intelligent, ethical, spiritual, and admired.

We hold a self-image of a person who is ethical, intelligent, worthy of love, happy, and full of great qualities.

We keep hoping that one day we will become that person. One day we will be big, confident, successful, and recognized. One day.

Until that “one day” comes, we keep trying and improving. We carry that image on our shoulders without realizing that it can become a burden. What if we simply let go of that image?

Hope and Becoming

We have a strong hope to become that future version of ourselves. But when will that one day come? Is it guaranteed? Why do we think we must “become” something?

An alternate way of living is to let go of all becoming. Release the wish to be famous, the richest, or the strongest. Stop trying to be the imaginary “good” person.

Who Cares About Your Image?

We try so hard to become someone. But whom are we doing it for? Who really cares if you are successful? Does the world care how powerful nuclear energy is? It only cares if it can use it for its purpose.

So why do you care? Who wants to protect this image? Isn’t it your ego? Some spiritual teachers say there is barely any doer. We simply act according to our past conditioning.

If that is true, then why burden ourselves with an image?

Stop Becoming, Be Neutral

Instead of trying to become that perfected “good person,” what if we live as a neutral human? A human is not stuck as good or bad. A human can act wisely in one moment and foolishly in another.

You are a human mind. Not a fixed identity.

In Control and Out of Control

Some things are in our control. Some things are not.

  • We can put effort into learning a skill. But we can’t control getting a specific job title.
  • We can help our kids learn well. But we can’t control which university they get into.
  • We can act with our best intentions. But we can’t control how others think of us. Their views come from their own conditioning.

Our effort is ours. The result is not. When we forget this, we suffer.

Act Today as Service

Let go of the pressure to become someone big tomorrow. Let go of the image you are trying to protect. Just do what you can, sincerely, today. No image. No label. Only action—service expressed through contribution. Here are some examples:

  • If you want to be a leader, read a little about leadership today. Act a little more like a leader today. If someone criticizes you, learn from it and adjust if needed.
  • If you want to write, write today with the intention to contribute, without hoping to become a famous writer.
  • If you act in a certain way and others criticize you, know that it is their perspective. It is your image they made in their mind. You are not that imaginary person.

Closing

Let go of the image. Let go of the imaginary becoming. Let life flow through you. Pretend as if the universe is acting through you in whatever good or bad way it is. Let your actions speak, quietly, steadily, and with purpose. Action today is enough.

Something to look forward to

1 Point Contributor

Why we need something to look forward to:

Beyond regular duties of life, achieving goals, we need something that we truly enjoy just for the sake of doing it. We have talked about simplifying life to a North Star Goal – a guiding principle that helps us navigate our life challenges and stay focused. We all have many priorities to juggle for in the life. Yet, even with this clarity, life can feel overwhelming. Our minds constantly seek happiness: sometimes through success at work, sometimes through harmony at home. But what happens when neither is going as planned? How do we keep going when life doesn’t cooperate with our expectations? The answer lies in finding something that nourishes us from within — something that keeps us grounded and joyful, no matter the external circumstances.

How to convince your mind to do it: Identifying what we like is an important step. But it is not enough. The harder part is allowing ourselves to spend time on it — without guilt. For example, you know that at work you need more engagement and at home, you have tasks to be done. In such a situation, how do you convince yourself to spend time on your interest? For me, it’s not easy. I may end up doing work first. To convince myself to spend time on an interest or hobby, I try relating it directly to my work productivity. For example, we are convinced that time spent on physical fitness is not a waste of time as it provides us with energy to do what we want to do in a day. Similarly, we need mental “fitness” time that generates happy hormones so that we can stay motivated to continue living the life we imagined.

How to find what we like: I think we need to find our interest where we feel joy of doing it for the sake of doing it. Some examples of such interest could be reading books, writing articles, curiosity about finances, spiritual seeking inclination, or anything that seems effortless. To find out a task you enjoy, I think the simpler way is to ask yourself:

  1. If you have enough money for your retirement and other family needs, what would you like to do in your free time?
  2. What is a task in that you lose the track of time? In other words, what is the task in that you forget that you are the doer?

Or, try other creative ways to find out what you like. Help me learn what you came up with.

When to do to it in the week: Once we are convinced to spend time on our identified activities, we need to find time to do it. It won’t be easy. Mind may tempt us to skip it for the day or the week. To find time, we have to ruthlessly prioritize. For example:

  1. Daily meditation is equally important as daily physical fitness. Allocate time for it everyday as if it’s an essential sleep routine.
  2. Plan for a half day on a weekend in a way that doesn’t impact family or other commitments. It could be Saturday mornings or Sunday evenings.

Once you identify it, stick to it as we stick to an important work meeting.

Summary: We briefly discussed the value of spending time on a hobby, how to find out what we like, and when to do it in the week. Looking forward to the next steps of implementing it.

Simplifying Life to a North Star Goal

1 Point Contributor

Why we need to simplify life: In the current situation, we have chaos everywhere. There is so much information, so many philosophies, so many distractions, and so much uncertainties about all areas of life like relationship, finances, and politics. In such a difficult time, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and get distracted from the mainstream and essence of life. That’s why it’s more important than ever, to simplify life to live meaningfully.

What are common distractors: In my article, how to simplify life, I have written some basic steps to avoid common distractors. The biggest influencer is the worldwide accessible open social media. In addition to it, human ego makes things more complicated.

What is simplest checkpoint to avoid distractions: The simplest thing I an think of is to scan your decisions from the lens of ego-check. For example:

  • Do I want to get that pair of jeans to show off or do I want it because I like the brand, the comfort, and durability of it?
  • Do I want to become a famous writer who has maximum number of instagram followers or do I want to write because I like writing and I want to help people with my thoughts?

How to create a simple structure to follow: Bringing clarity to life is as important as oxygen. We need a vision for our life, to structure the life in a simpler & a purpose driven way. I had other thoughts about simplifying life further and relating it with Maslow’s law and seven spiritual centers of the body. Here is how I related my earlier defined areas to Maslow’s law and seven spiritual centers:

Maslow’s Law of needsSeven centersMy areas of life
Physiological
Safety
Social		Root
Sacral
Heart		Foundation (Fitness, Finance, Family)
EsteemSolar Plexus
Throat
Third Eye		Forward (Skills, Learning, Achievements)
Self ActualizationCrownFreedom (Autonomy, spiritual liberation)

Explanation of life goals:

  • Foundation: I realized that my basic goals of fitness, finance, and family (including friends and society) are related to a basic foundational needs to live life.
  • Forward: Forward is a name given to efforts we do, to build our self esteem. I like the word Forward as it has a push for an action to look forward to. We can also call it taking actions or doing karma for anything in life. For example, look forward to:
    • Learning to continuously build skills to achieve goals and enjoy.
    • Advancements & Achievements by expressing (doing) in areas like leadership, writing, technical, and other as per our profession and interest.
  • Freedom: It is about transcending the journey and becoming free. It can’t be achieved unless we have a strong foundation and strong self-esteem.

What is a north star goal: We need a north star goal in a word so that we’re not lost into multiple goals. I found it very satisfying and simple to come up with one word, to describe my life. For me, that one word is, Freedom. For me, it means freedom from foundational things like: freedom from diseases; freedom by saving for retirement and other life needs; freedom from family needs by transcending to the world as one family; and finally, freedom from my mind or desires.

What’s next: I’d like to explore what stops us from taking actions to live life we imagine. Stay tuned to read more on it.

References:

  1. Wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/
  2. OnePointAhead, https://onepointahead.com/

Finding Clarity and Taking Action in Life

1 Point Contributor

Before discussing actions, let’s explore why clarity is essential. Without it, the mind wanders, creating restlessness, confusion, and frustration. When we know where we are going and how far we’ve come, the journey feels more like a known road—easier to navigate than an unknown one.

To bring clarity, defining a personal vision is crucial. Achieving this vision requires understanding both your inner journey and outer journey.

It seems that everyone wants to be their best, yet something often stops us from acting. Even after defining a vision, areas, and goals, obstacles remain. For example, I define my vision in one word: Integration. My inner growth focuses on meditation, while outer growth is guided by steps in Fitness, Family, and Finance. Yet, what keeps us from taking action?

Common Obstacles:

  • Lack of Self-Trust: Not trusting our ability to achieve goals can paralyze action. Trust develops through action, and even small wins help build confidence.
  • Lack of Hope and Disinterest: Hopelessness or apathy can block motivation. Not seeing a bright future or lacking interest in growth can feed laziness or inaction.
  • Unhappiness: General dissatisfaction in life can contribute to disinterest.
  • Missing Knowledge or Mentors: Not knowing how to navigate a path or lacking guidance can make progress difficult.

How to Navigate Negative Emotions:

Overcoming these challenges is not easy. It requires courage to slowly build interest and motivation. Some strategies include:

  1. Find a Bigger Cause: Acting for society or a higher purpose can create meaning.
  2. Acknowledge Negative Emotions: Recognize what is holding you back.
  3. Take Small Actions: Focus on manageable steps. For example, instead of mastering an entire subject, start with one topic.
  4. Celebrate Every Win: Recognize progress, no matter how small.
  5. Enjoy the Process: Do tasks for the sake of doing them, with interest and self-expression. Detach from results—the outcome often follows naturally.

Recommended Books to Build Hope and Faith:

  • The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
  • Atomic Habits by James Clear
  • Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth

Clarity combined with consistent small actions allows us to overcome hesitation and move steadily toward our goals.

Avoiding Mind Traps and Worries: Giving the Mind the Right Engagement

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The human mind is a restless force. It constantly seeks tasks, attention, and engagement. This is how the mind is designed—it cannot remain idle for long. When it lacks meaningful engagement, it quickly drifts into overthinking, and overthinking often breeds worry.

If I am not engaged in a task, I will inevitably think. The problem is that these thoughts, left unchecked, can spiral into mental noise, doubts, and anxieties.

The Nature of the Mind

The mind can be compared to an active monkey—always jumping from one branch to another, always restless, always hungry for the next thing. When the monkey has no clear branch to hold on to, it starts flailing wildly. Similarly, when the mind has no constructive task, it wanders into unnecessary thoughts, eventually leading to worries.

It is important to recognize the difference between thinking and worrying. Thinking is creative, solution-oriented, and purposeful. Worrying, however, is repetitive, draining, and rooted in fear. Overthinking often creates the bridge between the two.

You Are More than the Mind

One of the most liberating insights is understanding that you are not the mind. Thoughts arise automatically, shaped by memory and past experiences. Situations trigger emotions like anger, fear, or frustration, but these reactions are just patterns of the mind.

You, the true self, are beyond this. You are the witness. You can observe the mind like an audience watching a play on stage. The drama unfolds, but you need not get entangled in it.

For example, a situation may make you angry. Instead of blindly reacting, pause and notice: Why is my mind producing anger? What memory or conditioning is behind it? This act of witnessing creates distance and freedom.

Don’t Suppress the Mind

It is not necessary to fight, suppress, or purify the mind. The mind will continue its activity—that is its nature. Let it be. Thoughts will come and go, like clouds in the sky. Your task is not to control the clouds but to stay as the the clear sky that holds them.

Let thoughts arise. Witness them. But do not feel compelled to act on them.

Intellect as the Decision Maker

Here lies an important distinction:

  • Mind suggests ideas and reactions based on memory and conditioning.
  • Intellect has the power to evaluate and decide which suggestions to accept.

By strengthening the intellect, you learn not to act on every impulse of the mind. You allow thoughts to arise, but only act on those aligned with reason, values, and clarity.

Give the Mind the Right Engagement

Since the mind needs tasks, it’s wise to guide it rather than let it run wild. The best way to do this is by providing meaningful engagement:

  • Follow a routine: A daily structure tells the mind what to do next, reducing unnecessary confusion.
  • Schedule thinking time: Instead of letting the mind wander all day, dedicate a specific window to reflect, brainstorm, or even process worries. This prevents restless overthinking at random times.
  • Engage in purposeful activities: Physical exercise, creative hobbies, service, and learning can channel the mind’s energy productively.

When the mind is engaged in constructive ways, it has less room to wander into worry.

Closing Thoughts

The mind will always seek engagement—that is its design. The key is not to suppress it but to guide it. By providing the right tasks, cultivating awareness, and strengthening the intellect, you can prevent the mind from falling into traps of overthinking and worry.

Be the witness. Watch the drama unfold. And remember, you are not the restless monkey—you are the vast sky that holds it.

Why You Need a Vision for Life

1 Point Contributor

A vision is like a compass—it points you toward your true north and keeps you from drifting aimlessly. Without it, we risk wandering through life unsure of where we are headed or why we are moving at all.

A strong vision comes from two things:

  1. Philosophy – You can adopt an existing philosophy or craft your own based on what you deeply believe.
  2. Guidance – Mentors, teachers, and role models can illuminate the path and keep you aligned when life’s challenges appear.

Steps to Define and Implement Your Life Vision

1. Define the Key Areas of Your Life

Identify the major areas where you want to grow and make progress:

  • Inner Growth & Purpose: Understanding yourself, living in alignment with your values, and pursuing personal development.
  • Fitness: Health and vitality to live fully and pursue other goals.
  • Family & Relationships: Supporting loved ones and building strong, meaningful connections.
  • Finance: Achieving stability and freedom to live life on your terms.
  • Fun & Hobbies: Keeping life joyful, creative, and balanced.

2. Set Lifetime Goals in Each Area

Think about what you want to achieve before your life’s journey ends:

  • Inner Growth & Purpose: Live with clarity, peace, and meaning—through reflection, learning, and personal growth.
  • Fitness: Maintain lifelong strength, flexibility, and vitality.
  • Family & Relationships: Be a source of love, support, and encouragement.
  • Finance: Achieve complete financial freedom by age 60.
  • Fun & Hobbies: Write, travel, or pursue passions that bring joy.

3. Define Your Life in One Word

Condense your entire life’s vision into a single word or theme—it acts as a daily reminder and decision-making filter.

Examples:

  • Liberation: Freeing yourself from all limitations, step by step.
  • Freedom: Maximizing autonomy and choice in life.
  • Growth: Committing to continuous improvement in all areas.
  • Service: Making life about helping and uplifting others.
  • Joy or Happiness: Centering life on inner peace and positivity.
  • Balance: Creating harmony between work, relationships, health, and personal growth so no area is neglected.

4. Break Your Vision into Time-Based Goals

Your vision becomes real when you turn it into a clear, measurable roadmap:

  • 20-Year Goals: Define the ultimate achievements in each life area.
    Example: Financial freedom, strong health, deep personal growth, strong family bonds, mastery of your craft.
  • 5-Year Goals: Break down the 20-year vision into medium-term milestones.
    Example: Save $500K, publish a book, complete a personal growth course, visit 10 countries, strengthen friendships.
  • 1-Year Goals: Decide what you must achieve this year to get closer to your 5-year targets.
    Example: Save $25K, practice daily reflection or journaling, finish an online course, host family gatherings, learn basic guitar.
  • Weekly Goals: Plan weekly actions that move you toward your annual goals.
    Example: Exercise 5 days, write 1,000 words, have two meaningful conversations, cook a new dish, attend a workshop.
  • Daily Goal: Start each day with a single high-impact priority.
    Example: Reflect for 15 minutes, complete your workout, send a thoughtful message to a friend, or work on your passion project.

Life Vision Worksheet

Step 1 – Define Life Areas

  • Inner Growth & Purpose: __________________________________
  • Fitness: __________________________________
  • Family & Relationships: __________________________________
  • Finance: __________________________________
  • Fun/Hobbies: __________________________________

Step 2 – Lifetime Goals

  • Inner Growth & Purpose: __________________________________
  • Fitness: __________________________________
  • Family & Relationships: __________________________________
  • Finance: __________________________________
  • Fun/Hobbies: __________________________________

Step 3 – One Word for My Life: ______________________________

Step 4 – Time-Based Goals

Time FrameInner Growth & PurposeFitnessFamily & RelationshipsFinanceFun & Hobbies
20 Years
5 Years
1 Year
1 Week
1 Day

Final Thought

When you align today’s actions with your lifetime vision, you bridge the gap between dreams and reality. Whether your path is rooted in personal growth, creativity, relationships, or learning, a vision isn’t just a motivational statement—it’s a living map guiding every step you take toward your best possible life.

Multiculturalism at marketplace

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Why to learn it: We live in a diversified cultural world. To work or do a business with people from various cultures, we need to adapt strategies that are inclusive of people from their cultures. Learning about multiculturalism is helpful in knowing how people from different countries behave, what they like, and what are their motivations.

Below are my notes on this subject:

Non verbal communication: Different countries have different types of communication. Countries have different signs and gestures and the same sign or a gesture that could mean insulting or respectful to different countries. 

Implicit versus Explicit Communication: Different countries have implicit and explicit communication styles. For example, as per the studies, American kids learn to “Say what you mean and mean what you say” because Americans in general follow an explicit communication style. To avoid misinterpretation, when interacting with two countries, prefer an explicit communication, even if those two countries prefer an implicit communication.

Assumed similarity: We assume other people are more like us than they actually are. We also assume that another person’s situation is more like our own situation than it actually is.

Cultural attribution error: Cultural attribution error is that you interpret another person’s behavior based on your own culture.

Diversity in a team: Depending on the motive of the work, level of diversity can be considered. Generally, a diversified team is more creative because people from different cultures add their perspectives. But at the same time, diversity is costly. In a diverse team, it takes more time get to a decision. If we want creative solutions, it’s worth spending time and effort in building a diversified team.

Cultural styles for various countries: There are studies about different cultural norms for different countries.

Negotiation across cultures: Negotiation styles differ in different cultures. Some countries believe in trust-building styles, some believe in character-building styles, and some are in the middle. For a successful negotiation, it’s important to understand the cultures of the countries involved in a negotiation.

Leadership styles: Leadership style differs in different countries. Some believe in egalitarian style leadership, some believe in hierarchical style leadership, and some are in the middle. In egalitarian style leadership, a leader coaches and is like of the the team mates. In hierarchical style leadership, a leader use authority and is like a father-figure.

Decision making across cultures: As per the culture, a country may follow a top-down decision making, or a consensual decision making.

Feedback across culture: Some countries prefer a direct feedback and some countries prefer an indirect feedback style. Understanding feedback type for a country can help in working with people from that country.

Time Management: There are two types of time management: exact-planning and flexible-planning. Some countries prefer exact-planning whereas some countries prefer flexible-planning.

Acculturation: When a person is introduced to another culture, their level of adapting another culture varies. Study of acculturation helps in working with people from various cultures.

References:

How to move from a Developer to a Technical Leader role

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If you think you enjoy what you do and it’s a wishful thinking to move to a Technical Leadership role, ignore reading it further. If you feel you’re determined to move to the next level, welcome to the journey. There are many traits of a technology leader and a lot is written on this subject. To move from a developer to a technology leader, it’s critical to acquire technical, leadership, and business skills. Here are some basic steps:

1. What to explore as a developer (or a similar role):

  • Master a technical skills set: Learn all the deep technical skills in a single skills set. If you’re a backend developer, deep dive to know the limits of the backend solutions. The moment you start sharing your code and mentor new developers, it’s a good sign of advancement.
  • Move beyond a technical skills set: You explored your single skills to the best. Now is the time to look for opportunities to learn other technical skills. Find the opportunities to work on other similar technologies. If you’re a Java developer, find out what different capabilities a python stack developer has. If you’re an application developer in a non-ERP environment, find an opportunity to learn an ERP solution. 
  • Think beyond: Learn how other technical solutions interact with each other. How these technologies evolved over time? What should be the future of these technologies?

2. Find the opportunities to lead:

Look for the opportunities to lead a project, as a Project manager (PM) or a similar title. Project Management is a great role to learn below skills:

  • How to lead and communicate: As a technology leader, it’s important to learn how to lead people and how to manage systems. Learn how to help others to succeed in their career path. Learn how to lead the project for the end to end integration, without getting inside of the code. Learn how to communicate effectively with your stakeholders. As a PM, you’ll develop skills like decision making, taking the responsibility of a failure, and giving the credit to your team for the success of the technical solutions.
  • How to influence stakeholders: As a PM, it’s one of your prime responsibilities to influence your stakeholders. The unforgettable moments of joys as a PM are of a different kind. You can’t forget your preparation and the number of stakeholders you invited for a critical decision meeting. What a happiest moment when the majority of them agreed with a point of view, in favor of the project.
  • How your technical solution is funded: It’s important to understand why and how the funding is allocated for a technical solution. Is it important to fund it because you used the most innovative technical skills in it? Or, is it important because it solves a critical business problem?

3. Find the opportunities to learn a business domain:

As a technology leader, it’s critical to learn how your technical roadmap supports and aligns with the business needs. Here are some basic tips to begin learning business skills:

  • Stay curious: Ask the right questions. How a business function is established at first? To run the business, what systems are used? How the business has changed in the last decade? What’s the future of your business? How it can influence the technology landscape?
  • Get the training: Get the training on your business domain. It doesn’t have to be a formal training course.
  • Build the relationships: Making relationships with your business stakeholders has multi-dimensional positive outcomes to your journey of becoming a technical leader. You’ll gain more credibility among your business customers. You’ll learn their business terms. You’ll know their technical pain points. What do they like in their job? How do they make business decisions?

4. Final steps:

  • Review your progress: Decide the milestones for your journey. Review your progress every quarter. What did you learn in the last quarter? What are your goals for the next quarter?
  • Join forums and communities: Join the forums and communities to learn from other technology leaders and share what you learned.
  • Introspect: Are you enjoying the journey? It’s not an easy transition. But, you already made a decision and you love what you do. So, don’t look back. Stay on it. You’ll succeed if you don’t give up.

This article was originally published at LeadDev.com (https://leaddev.com/personal-development/three-skills-develop-becoming-engineering-leader)

Thought of the day: Six leadership lessons

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Below are my six leadership lessons from a recent leadership course.

Self-awareness: Leadership starts with self-awareness. Start with yourself to know what are your strengths and weaknesses. Find out about your leadership style. To know about yourself, continuously get feedback from others.

Reference: https://bmjleader.bmj.com/content/leader/5/1/3.full.pdf

Decision-making: An effective and a simple way for decision-making could be to do a what-if analysis of any situation. Like, what will happen if I do this? Generally, humans try to choose the option in which the loss is less. We try to minimize risks.

Psychological well-beings: Taking care of ourselves and avoiding burn outs is important. For that, we must take care of ourselves. Leaders must develop resilience. It’s an ability to bounce back in difficult situations or failures. For the well beings, we must build emotional agility by validating ourselves on how we are making connections with others, how we’re contributing to what matters to us, and how are we compassionate towards self and others.

Building trusting relationships: To succeed as a leader, we must build trusting relationships. As Dr. Brené Brown suggests, trust is built in small moments. It takes more time to build the trust than what it takes to hurt the trust. To build trust, a simple process could be to listen actively and make humble inquiries for any topics.

Conflict Resolution and Negotiations: To resolve a conflict, we should aim for a win/win collaborative scenario where both, the assertiveness and cooperation are high. I really liked below framework about conflicts resolution. To know more about it, read here.

Reference: https://kilmanndiagnostics.com/overview-thomas-kilmann-conflict-mode-instrument-tki/

Curiosity: Refer to the six signature traits of inclusive leadership by Deloitte here. Out of all six, curiosity is my favorite. Curiosity is such a magical attribute of leadership that opens up doors for discussions and allow us to make humble inquiries from the perspective of a learner, instead of a perspective of a knower.

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