Learnings from the book, How to be an Adult

How to be an adult is a book by David Richo on psychological and spiritual help. If anyone looking for a reference book about leading the life in a more meaningful way, I recommend you this book.

Here are my notes for this book:

  • Growing pains and growing up: If our childhood was challenging, we need to mourn it and let it go. The book suggests that the current painful situations have a direct connection with the past painful situations. The book suggests the ways for grief work. It suggests how we can go into the past problems, relive those moments with the imagination of how we took care of ourselves, and forgave people responsible for it. Here is my person example:
    • I feel angry on people who were responsible for some personal situations.
    • I am thankful that I began to learn how to stand up for myself. I managed myself very well. I took care of myself independently.
    • I imagine being assertive in my childhood.
    • I forgive everyone who did not stand up for me.
    • I am abundantly taking care of myself.
  • Assertiveness skills: The book provides suggestions on how can we correctly be assertive.
  • Fear: Every problem is something we have trouble in adopting. The author suggested a three step process to work on fears: Admit/acknowledge the fear, don’t suppress the fear, and act on it.
  • Anger: The author suggests to distinguish anger and drama. Work on anger with a three step process: understand what happened, what I believe, and what I feel.
  • Guilt: Guilt is a belief or judgment.
  • Values & self-esteem: Living the values can help in building self-esteem.
  • Boundaries in relationships: Boundaries help to create interdependencies. Ask directly what you want.
  • Intimacy: The author suggested helpful tips about maintaining an intimate relationship.
  • Integration: We’re complete NOW. Do not try to be perfect. Let others know that sometimes you succeed and sometimes you fail. When you fail, you learn from it and try to do better next time.
  • Shadow: The author described two shadows: negative and positive. Negative shadow is composed of unaccepted defects that we strongly condemn in others. Positive shadow is composed of good qualities that ww strongly admire in others.
  • Dreams and Destiny: The author suggests to learn from our dreams.
  • Ego/Self: Meditation is helpful to accept the present situation.
  • Love: Love lets go and never clings or controls.

As I learn more, I’ll update this blog. Thank you!

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